The President-Elect has a massive conflict of interest between the duties of his office and his many international businesses that he refuses to put in a blind trust; yet Trump insists that – whoa, check out this tweet, I think he just said, “I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.”
What were we talking about, again? Ok, well, there’s a lot to unpack here…
Obviously, that tweet is a bunch of horse hockey, but there are certainly a lot of other important, real issues we need to discuss.
Of course, there’s the nepotism like letting Ivanka attend sessions with world leaders while she’s hawking jewelry online, but we’ll come back to that in a second because- am I hearing this right… did he just nominate someone who hates public education as the Secretary of Education?
Okay, maybe we should focus on that wall and who’s paying for… wait- did he just say he’s going to be commuting from Trump Tower and the Secret Service is going to be writing him rent checks?
Trump hasn’t even taken the oath of office, but he’s using more patter and misdirection than a third-rate birthday party magician. America, you’re getting played. The problem is that even though you can see the cards poking out of his sleeve, you’re still pretending like he’s some sort of David Copperfield when he’s really acting more like Shakes the Clown.
Either way, the whole thing’s an act and the folks who seem the most enthused are the same ones who think professional wrestling is totally real.
So, maybe we should do some “adulting” and talk about how this man doesn’t even believe in climate change and how he wants to destroy the recent global climate agreement signed in Paris that – wait- are you serious when you say Trump is actually in the WWE Hall of Fame with Hulk Hogan?
Wow. Trump and his merry band of chattering alt-reality surrogates did this all through the election and, now, they’re doing it again as he performs his role of President-Elect.
Step right up and turn your attention to the center ring, it’s the Presidential Cabinet version of Three-Card Monty between Romney, Petraeus, and Guiliani; no matter who wins, we lose, because there was never a Trump ace to begin with, not even one up his sleeve.
Look, the magic man is draining the swamp at the same time it looks like it’s getting bigger and bigger with even more slimy critters… what an amazing illusion!
I wonder what the next distraction will be because it’s going to have to be a pretty big one. I mean lots of smoke and glitter, the day that he names someone as uniquely unqualified as Ben Carson to be Secretary of HUD- I guess that’s when he’ll tweet something earth-shattering like there will be no dog in the White House because Ivanka prefers twin sugar gliders named “Nero” and “Adolf.”
You know, because Presidents tweet things like that and they tweet when world leaders die just the same as you’d tweet “Roll Tide!” because- get outta here- I just read that he really wants to bring water-boarding back… hold up- Trump just picked Tom Price for Health and Human Services? I guess making America great again means gutting every program that actually helps Americans so that we can spend even more on the military, corporate welfare, and giving more tax breaks to the rich.
Trump doesn’t need a salary because you’re already paying him bigly. America, you’re getting played and the game hasn’t even officially started.